It all starts very early and we learn through experiences to use masks, adapt, say what we are allowed to say to not upset anyone, be nicer with other people than with us, do everything as it should, but the funny thing is that is never enough. We can do it all perfect, but people will still be dissatisfied, unhappy and in the second we do not play by the script they are used to know we become the enemy of their perfect world of lies that they worship and do not want to leave. Let’s be honest, it’s hard to accept that we were pretending all the time, we ignored the signs, we knew but we didn’t believe…and when someone shows us the truth, we make them the villain because is easier.
“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”
Joseph Campbell
So what we do? What we did until now, we pretend we don’t see the elephant, we continue to ignore what we don’t like and we expect others to do the same as us, then we complain about our miserable life and find some escape like alcohol, drugs, sex, shopping, work, travel… anything that can make us temporary run from that depressive reality we created, when in fact we are the ones that can change it without the need to escape.
Of course, it requires hard work and consistency, but the pain is there anyway even if is supporting the current life or going through change to create a better one. The difference is that the first one will never end and we already know how it looks like, and the later requires some courage to go through unknown, but definitely won’t be as the current one if we make the necessary changes.
The worst thing is that we don’t even realize we are in a loop of supporting the unhappy life and we just run from a distraction to another just to feel alive, then we wonder where our energy goes, why we still struggle and we envy others that managed to do better.
When you have the same issue over and over (with same or different people) means there is something that we need to catch and do better. These do not happen to us, these happen for us to grow and by relating to other people in different situations we helping us see parts of ourselves that we wouldn’t recognize on our own.
When we pay attention, these patterns become invitations to evolve rather than cycles to stay trapped in.
And when we finally learn the lesson, the pattern breaks – and we step into a wiser version of ourselves.
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